Diaries: 1941 December 23-1942 June 2; 1942 June 2-1943 January 13; Loose material from diaries

37. summer night, about August, I heard an American girl tell the story in Boston radio. Rather characteristic of the Jewish mind (outside of business they are all naivety) was a Jewish merchant’s confidential remark to one of his customers: they go only down to Soroksár (a village south of [geo] Budapest [/geo]) then go round the city and march in again from the Vienna [strikethrough] side [/strikethrough] road. He thought this immense passing of troups only showing off and imagined it something else like an Opera house performance, as the victory march in Aida is arranged.

Jan. 18. Sunday Had tea with Hanna (Dr. Szabó) last night. Some other guests, among them a young colorative actress-to-be. Szendrői Ilonka is the name. She has a beautiful warm, full voice and I think the world will never hear anything about her. Just bad luck to be born here and these times. She sang Pergolesi’s sei un soggetto. I think real old Italian music (XVII century) is much [strikethrough] more [/strikethrough] above anything else.

38 Tullia told me last night she was to see Mrs. Morvay. The boy is coming home with our legation staff from the States, as he got an appointment here with Maort. A Portuguese ship is bringing them, which is to start on the 22nd Jan. [January] from [geo] New York [/geo] (this I read in the papers). As our Americans are off since yesterday and they have to meet this ship in Lisbon so I think about the middle of February the Morvay boy may be home. Tullia gave them my address (by the way, the boy mentioned you in his letters home) because you could give only the Zorhóczy address and they are now in the Tátra. May be I shall have some news about you. I do not hope that you remembered to give him a letter or may be he didn’t turn up before leaving. This would be too good, to have even a letter.

I am told the regent received Mr. Pell leaving American Minister to Hungary a few days ago for one and a half hour, in spite of war between our countries. I don’t think even the most

39. open revelation of affairs could influence future allied decisions in favour of Hungary. It is not the States who decide in European [strikethrough] pacts [/strikethrough] matters. The States has very probably free hand in [geo] Rio de Janeiro [/geo] and [geo] England [/geo] had free hand in [geo] Moscow [/geo]. Already inimical pacts are accumulating against us: the Polish-Checkoslovakian pact, Polish-Russian pact, Greek-Yougoslavian pact not to mention the Moscow promises themselves. My guess about the regent’s interview is that he tried to insure his family’s safety in case of need. Very probably he tried to obtain some sort of salvous conductus to the States for them. Poor me, who am no regent, no member of diplomatic staff, nobody but a mother. It is no use seeing things ahead when you can’t do a single thing to evade it. All this summer and even more in the autumn I felt that American visa will be late for me. I couldn’t write about this feeling in my letters because censors would [strikethrough] thought [/strikethrough] suspect me [strikethrough] [illegible] [/strikethrough] for hinting events to come. No use that I see clearly

p. 40 some sort of terrible cataclysm is coming over Europe, I can’t go away. Too late. Bertrand Russell says in his “freedom and organization” that after a second world war people very probably won’t have patience with [strikethrough] theories [/strikethrough]trifles like communism but [strikethrough] they [/strikethrough]will fight for the last carrots and last beetroots.

It would not be correct to state that Hunger (what we mean by capital letters, the real thing) is already here. We have still enough to eat but some sorts of food are [strikethrough]from time to time [/strikethrough] gradually disappearing. Bacon is rare since months. Since summer no more “szalámi.” Now preparation (seasoning?) of ham is forbidden. You can’t get “szemle” [strikethrough] instead [/strikethrough]on of your bread-rations (which is still ample) but only [strikethrough] instead [/strikethrough] on of your white flour ration, which is scarce. Fruit is terrible expensive and was so in summer too. Twice, three times as high as it was the year before. In a shop window I have seen grapefruit, 6:50 pengős a kilo. Coffee and tea sources nearly exhausted, though 56-100 pengős a kilo coffee and tea

p. 41 over [strikethrough] 100 [strikethrough] 110 P. I couldn’t get any coffee for weeks thought I used to give the shop assistant 5-10 pengős extra. Not having coffee will be the worse of privations.

Jan 20. Tuesday Again an official visit, this time it is Keitel , head of the German general staff. Each of these visits Ribbentrop, Ciano, now Keitel are more and more ominous. Apart from the help they want (military and economic, what means to twist out the country entirely) it means a general mix-up of being guilty. They want everybody to be in it, step by step we got here.

This afternoon Mici néni (Mrs. Adorjan ) was here, she liked this new flat, had a nice rest too. Our radio news announced tonight that American diplomats from Budapest arrived to Lisbon. Since they didn’t leave Bp. before Friday or Sat, it was an astonishingly short time considering the detour go round they had to do. Germany didn’t let them pass. Now Mr. Ruedemann is nearing you with Barbara’s jackets.