p.

3
worth while putting down on paper + in any case I cannot
think and I cannot concentrate on work at all these last
few days I have not done a thing except those things which
I had to do Fortunately there has been quite an amount
happening + the days pass But apart from that I just live
from one post to the next There are two a day - one at
10.0 in the morning + the other at 4.0 in the afternoon
And cables came in with the ordinary post on account of
addresses having to be decoded 10.0 + 4.0 olock have been
bitter disappointments each day this week Every time I have been
sure that this time the cable would come - it is almost beyond
endurance And then I always feel a little ashamed of myself because
you have always said in your letters that this would happen but
I like a fool alwys thought the cable would come through alright
But now that the time has come + I know that it must have
all happened by now + yet I am in ignorance - I realise
that I have never in all my life been so worried + so
anxious when Lisa was born + the boy last year the thought
of anything going wrong never really entered my head that
this time it is so very different +the way things go are
vitally all important So much so that I cannot even write
about it until I know what has happened My sweet darling I
am so full of love for you You are the beginning + the end
for me - I just cannot bear to write I am going to
telephone Jack Perrott + I hope go + see him + pass the
evening
Sunday No word yet darling but I feel much more cheerful
because I had a postcard from you today dated May 12" -
in which you say that Hughe us pleased with everything +
that you yourself are in so much better spirits + feeling braver
Also that Amy has arrived I hope she will be a help + good
company for you + not be a nuisance in any way at all
And that we have another L137 commission! Isn't it amazing
+ very good ? What with two lots of commissions + back pay for
Captain + Major + my rate of pay increased 120% + all