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the money which I haven't spent which you thought I had
spent you must be in an alcoholic flat spin about money
The bank statement must be looking pretty good by now
+ we shall be very popular with Martins I imagine this
new piece of commission must be a bonus on the Associations
profits + its payment will have been decided at a Board
meeting I must say that it again gives me the feeling
of having my efforts appreciated + also that I have left
some good friends behind who are sticking up for me
I am still spending very little money though it is remarkable
to me that I spend as much as I do as I very seldom go
anywhere at all I shall probably have to hang in another
L30 about June 20 + then that should see me through
until the end of August There is really no need to be
particularly stingy with myself an longer but I still feel
that way + all this commission + advance in pay is not
making a bean of difference to my way of living or
general outlook Partly because there is nothing + nobody
to spend any money on here - or at least that I dont want to
meet any body I just want this bloody war to end so
as I can come home to you + until it does end I will
just work + write to you + think about you + read a
bit which is all tied up with you + I having as much
money as possible after the war is over It is going to be
wonderful to find a house as I sincerely hope we shall be
able to + then to decorate it + have altercations made as we
want them + find furniture + carpets + everything + at
the same time to know that we have the money
to pay for all of it At the end of the month
will sit down at my desk + we will check the bills
together + then I shall just write out + sign the
cheques + that will be that -- I feel that our home
is going to be so important when we begin again After
so long apart + so much miserable unhappiness + loneliness
I know that I shall never want to leave you again