p.

10

Friday, May 1st. Darling one, I have told you before that I
enjoy writing to you & I do, & it is the one thing that
makes me feel in touch with you. But, oh Barbara,
what would I not give to be with you & to be able
to talk to you. It talkes a whole evening, or 3-4 hours to
write about what I could tell you in 10 minutes - & then
we have to wait 4-5 months for a reply from eachother,
instead of being able to discuss together. But I love your
letters, & I believe you like mine - & so it is very
fortunate for both of us that we spend so much time
in writing to satisfy our hunger from hearing from theher.
When I write as I did on Wednesday & as I have done quite
a lot recently, do you understand me darling? - & do I
make sense to you? - & do you agree with me?
I hope that the answer is yes, to all those questions.
I think that we were both wrong before this war - but
that I was further off the mark than you. I thought
before, but I am certain now, that you are one of
the least snobbish & swanky, & most genuine people I
have ever met. I did pay too much attention & lip
service to position & money - though, at the same
time, I concede to myself that I was decent &
pleasant & on good terms with my, so called,
inferiors. But there is a very big change in me,
& I think, though I do not really know, that I
have gone much further than you. But I think
I will resist the temptation to launch out again,
because you might think I have said enough
for one letter - & it is 10.30, & I have some
things to telll you about - & I must post this
tomorrow.