p.

10.

of you is almost seven weeks ago. Your last letter was
Oct 13th too. I don't know whether you are in Noss Mayo
or Beaconsfield or where or what you are doing - or
how you & Maxie are. And I do like to know,
it helps me to [?] my thoughts of you somehow,
though somehow, my thoughts & feelings of you are
especially clear & vivid in the last few days. I seem
to be feeling you & smelling you & hearing you
& seeing you. And of course because of my state
of mind, I cannot add this with coming home
to you, & feels that it is another indication
that I really am coming. As I have
said before, & I hope, by the time you receive
this you will know the result & so if the
result is negative, do not feel too sorry for
me. It is only hope which keeps me going &
if this one finishes , I shall certainly find some
other hope to pin my faith to. I do have &
adore you so much my darling Barbara &
I know it more & more as time goes on,
and I miss you more & more too. I fear
that my letters increase in brightness in inverse
ratio to my realisation of loving you &
missing you. But I know & promise you that
I shall be superlatively happy when I am
with you again, & will not be dull or over
serious. I want to be bright & happy & gay
but I just do not feel like it. You are all
my happiness darling one. All love to you & Maxie XXXXXXH