p.

5. ever get is when I think of the return of those times. This is an impossible situation, darling. Oh God, but I am looking forward, longing & aching to be with you again. Realisation is said to never equal or come up to anticipation but this will be a case when anticipation simply is incapable of grasping how wonderful the realisation is going to be. I am feeling terribly unsettled until I get a reply to my application for posting home. For some reason, I am feeling hopeful rather than otherwise - & therefore very apprehensive about the possibility of disappointment. But, if I have to wait until the end of the war to come home to you & it can hardly be less than a year - & the idea of that is so horribly unreal, as to be quite unthinkable. By one means & another, I have struggled through one year, but always with a strong feeling that something will happen or turn up, sooner rather than later. But I simply cannot envisage such another year of living from day to day, with my nose in the news columns & never missing a radio news broad-cast. I re-read my application every day & wonder to myself if I could not have said such & such a thing: but I think that it was a reasonable effort & told the truth - I feel that if it comes before

5.