p.

for my lunch - & remind Jack about it again.
I must go to bed, darling one - it is 11.0 & I have
worked v. hard today, & feel pretty sleepy. XXX H.
Tuesday - May 19th. Oh, darling one - I began this letter in an
unhappy & complaining mood, the following day I received
your no 89, which was very unhappy & complaining, & told
me you had been having a lot of tears. My poor
darling sweetheart, how I hate to hear this, & how annoyed
& hurt I am that you still have to suffer & after so long.
And you had just had 5 letters from me - I'm afraid
that they must have been rather miserable ones, &
have done nothing at all to cheer you up; two of
them, I know, were largely about the Gergel affair.
But that was very much on my mind, & so I had to
write about it, had I not? I'm afraid that neither of
us is guaranteed to [burden ?] the other by our letters,
except in our expressions of love & [ ?], but
what alternative is there. I want to know exactly
what you are doing & thinking & feeling, & I believe
you do about me. And it seems to have offended
you a little by saying that I hoped you would
lead a contented life at the Tibbles - & this letter of
mine only arrived when you were leaving them
because you could not bear them a minute
longer. You said that you really understood that,
[we saw ?] tolerable. Of course I did, darling - but I did
hope that you would achieve a certain degree of contentment
too - & I still do, now that you are with Juliette.
I mean a certain system of life - & I know that is
what you have been aiming for - whereby each day is
more or less filled, & you have a few intelligent people