10. Nellie's Letters, September-October 17, 1865

close to tell the old ones from the young:- I saw a pretty idea about that some time in a book I was reading lately -- "Festus", have you ever read it? I think it contains many splendid things and read it with much interest. -- "I looked and saw Time on his two great wings -- one, night -- one, day -- Fly moth like, right into the flickering sun; So that the sun went out, and they both perished".

Is it not weird and fancyful? Have also been reading a Theological discussion between a Universalist and Orthodox minister. I know so little of creeds that I have been interested, and more firmly convinced that I believe in the true faith. It is surely the happiest, and I believe Heaven is a happy and contented state of mind. I know I should be utterly miserable could I for one moment believe that any of earths children would be eternally punished. There is not a human heart so cruel that it could condemn its worst enemy to everlasting punishment, and it does seem to me unjust

to the kind Father to believe His compassionate heart capable of it.

I think I have told you that my grandmother was very sick. She no longer suffers, and is I trust receiving her reward for her faithfulness on earth. She was one of the dearest and best women I ever knew, but as great a loss as it is to us, I feel that it would be wicked to wish her back. I do wish you might have known her, her goodness always made me desire to be better and more like her. I did not get the letter in time to go to the funeral.

Thank you Harry, for your reference to "that other glass". I have wanted to ask you about it, but did not like to broach so delicate a subject.

You don't know how glad I am that you can and do keep your good resolutions, I thought it would be so hard for you to do so in your present position, and where the social glass is so common.

If you can resist temptation now I think I may trust you in the future. I do believe enough in you to think you would not deceive me, to make

us both unhappy in the future, for I know that if I was not happy I should not make any one else with whom my life was spent.

Don't appologise for writing about yourself because you could not find a subject that would interest me more. I want to know all about your doings and sayings, and in return shall inflict myself upon you in my letters, because I want you to know me, and to let me know you all that it is possible with the pen and ink.

And there is a ring on my finger too, which was put there because a foolish young man said he would throw it away if I would not wear it, and being of an economical turn of mind consequently not wishing to see the pretty trinket wasted, I put it on one dusky night last March and it has stayed there ever since -- for the same reason. Of course it doesn't remind me of any body every time I look at my right hand and the third finger thereof. That wouldn't be a natural consequence!

My sheet is full but I can't close in a hurry so will merely say -- good morning. and write more some other day.

9.

Sunday morning. Sept. 10th

My birth day you know.

The sky is over cast and threatening, and the wind chills one every time a door opens. I wonder -- is it indicative of my future life! Truly the prospect I would not be very cheering if I was superstitious enough to believe so.

My spirits are neither high or low, so I could think of any future with calmness today.

Yesterday I received a birth day present from my three oldest brothers, of $45.00. to buy me a pretty dress with. Do you know -- I have three dear good brothers. They could not be kinder to me if I was the most amiable person living, which you know I am not. I should be good if wishing to do just right would make me so.

I think I propounded a question to you in my last about the difference in the time here and in Nevada. When I did so I forgot that a few calculations and a little application of my arithmetic would tell me. It's about three and a half hours is it not? -- then it is about 7 O'clock with you and you are probably

trying to pull your eyes open, voting it a bore to have to get up and dress for breakfast, and wondering if it won't come to you if you wait long enough. -- Certainly, I've had some experience in such lazy feelings as I should not imagine you indulging in them -- I know you yawned then spite of my entertaining conversation.

Your mother has been away visiting for a number of weeks, and I believe there was a letter come for her from you, but none for me at the same time, Wonder why?

The Universalists are talking of building a parsonage, just above the Church -- next to "Cousin Ruths". Mr Gunnison the new minister is much superior to Mr Gilbert in every way, and I think will be loved by the people. He has a fine looking son who is studying for the ministry, -- has fine dark eyes! Don't you believe he will secure converts? I think so.

Cousin Mary sent me a picture of herself a few days since. She would like one of you, and if sent to me I'll try and deliver safely.