Diaries: 1945 March 11-1945 June 20; 1945 June 25-1945 November 5; Loose material from diaries

8 too near. But our daily life is more quiet, no more visit from stray, R. soldiers. Several of them had been arrested and punished for molesting the civilian population. – Daily more and more of [strikethrough] gonorrhocia infection [/strikethrough] VD and pregnancy are turning up difficult to deal with. – Ancy was here yesterday, their brother in law, Elsa’s husband is looked for by the G.P.U. Of course, he left the beginning of December in safely, but for a few weeks lived with them, it will be rather disagreable for the girls. I hazarded (just my suppositions) to Ancy: well, Bibi was known as a Gestapo man. She did not deny it. And This scoundrel lived here in plenty, was working at the postal censorship, as a Hungarian army officer! Got [strikethrough] two fold [/strikethrough] double of salaries, had reserves, to last him for at least for a year, etc. All the time confessing himself a German.

Yesterday was Matild day and because you used to congratulate Matild néni (Zorkóczy), I felt, I have to go and see them, in spite of our recent estrangement.

This morning I [strikethrough] was [/strikethrough] had leisure to walk over, found the house standing but [strikethrough] ruined [/strikethrough] crumbling on many places, the garden and garden walls partly destroyed, a sad picture, I can tell you. They, Matilda néni, Klári, Márta and her sisters all out in the garden, working, but in what condition! Living down in the basement, in constant darkness, not being washed, since weeks, judging by their appearance, neglected, in rags. Their basement was destroyed by Germans, hand-grenading from outside the shelter they had used for weeks. Still, they hate the Russian barbarians

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and hope for the return of the frontline, together with the Germans. So you see, people are hopeless and they can be educated only by the strongest measures, sometimes even by them it is in vain. They can not understand, I feel relieved by the expulsion of the G. forces and I can not hate the Russians, even find most of them nice. There is no sense, I should ever see the Zorkóczys! Again, only Matilda néni is in need of a medicine, I can give her, so that will be done, then finish.

March 16, Friday Since 3 p.m. yesterday, I had anginal pains until the small hours [strikethrough] constantly [/strikethrough]. This seems to be more, then just vaso-neurotic disorders. The pains were around the heart and radiating out to the vicinity: dorsal side, part of the upper abdomen, lateral sides. There was no respite and I am very tired, though in bed since 7 pm. last night. The cold ought to do something with it, I could not light a proper fire since the noon the [strikethrough] branches [/strikethrough] twigs, I brought home from Gellért hill were not dry enough. Today I have again a long way to go, to Szt Imre herceg út, a doctor’s daughter-patient, I promised, to visit so far. Weather grey for the third day, not stimulating.

The evening. I had to walk far, until Francis Joseph bridge ( it is reopened since yesterday, but mostly for military traffic), looked for Ilonka Krasznay, but did not find her at home, met dear old Gaba, we agreed on all subjects have looked up the Stocz family, all well, [strikethrough] fetched [/strikethrough] carried home some wood, seen several patients and still, feeling better then

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yesterday. A lot more hopeful. Out of the mornings mist a nice, warm little sunshine came out.

March 17, Saturday Water supply seems to be permanent from today on even to the flat – since December we had it only for a few hours. It is only on our quarters, though, the Gellért hegy inhabitants have to [strikethrough] fetch [/strikethrough] carry it from miles distance and they stay in [strikethrough] rows [/strikethrough] lines for hours on muddy ground. Very plausible, the Russians can’t do this work for us, pipes, cleaning away ruins, filling up of muddy ground should be done by public works and still, almost everybody shirks from the work. This is one reason, the Russian command does not open the Buda side, the other, that still many fugitive G. soldiers and nyilas are hiding among us. No bread and no food and no communication with the Pest side until things are as they are at present, they say, as I am told by Mr. Láng who is member of the National committee. And Buda is starving on. For myself I have a little hope: yesterday, I got from a patient a big, over two kgs bread, though shared with the Hermanses and Lángs, it will last me a week. Elly sold one of her Persian rugs to her blackmarket gang and promised me honey out of the booty. I felt so excited with the good news, I could hardly sleep. Could my patients get over to the other side and Laci Benda send his flour, I would be saved until the next crop and there, about six months after our liberation may be you would be able to send me parcels. Vegetables will be a great help this summer, they will be grown after all and some fruit too, I hope. But next winter, windowless and fuelless!

11 It is one mouth, László Lakos took Frédi home, after living four months here – still no sign of him in any way of help. In this interval I could have died from starving.

The afternoon. There was rain in the morning, I had a public-health meeting in the next school building, such a luck, we have to live like in a small village, everything is near. Since I have seen the demolitions of major grade everywhere, I do not want to leave my village. Here, at least, streets are comparatively clean. Not so our house. Characteristic of people’s mentality: not once was our staircase [strikethrough] washed up [/strikethrough] scrubbed since the siege began, though at least eight [strikethrough] grown up people [/strikethrough] adults live in the janitor’s flat. Not even now, when we have water in the house. They are just the opposite of the Lángs, who work and clean and wash all the day. – The weather is springlike, rain ceases and sunshine is coming through the clouds. Ancy called the noon, coming from St. John’s hospital. Our suspicions – both VD & pregnancy - are denied there in a positive form. She is happy and so am I because of her. – Money coming in scarcely deflation can be felt already. A colleague complained today, he earned but 200 Ps this month. I did not earn much once myself, but the sum will be a considerable one in short time. But not until Buda is closed [strikethrough] up before [/strikethrough] from the Eastern parts of the country.

March 18, Sunday. Blue skies and sunshine and the German infested year finished. Tomorrow will be a year. they invaded the whole country, it was a most sinister year, but

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I truly hope, we are over the worst. When not with my patients it is like our fairy tales begin: a poor woman went out, to gather wood and twigs… After four o’clock the afternoon, when the last patient left, I go out [strikethrough] the [/strikethrough] to the Németvölgyi [strikethrough] churchyard [/strikethrough] cemetery region, where so much shelling was done, even now broken trees and splintered wood is in heaps. Yesterday, coming home burdened on my shoulders the Benda boys, Laci and Tibor arrived from Csepel, later Klári Bálint too. Laci brought me some hand-cut tobacco, he is an angel. I understand, Klári has a parcel from the Lakos for me, besides, she made some shopping with my 500 Ps. but I did not see yet, what it is. I am excited in expectation, I can hardly wait, until she delivers it.

The afternoon. You see ridiculous as it may be, I have to tell you every detail. The morning I got from Klári my things: for 575 Ps: half a kg of sausages and 60 dks of bacon and four leaves of cigarette paper, then a parcel from Hanna (dentist), touching, a bit of flour, fat, crakers [sic], sugar, marmalade, cigarettes, surrogate coffee, etc and one kg of flour from Laci Benda’s own. I needed the meat and carbohydrates badly. For lunch I have been to Mamucis, Apu has just returned from Pest, with flour and beef and we had a splendid pörkölt with noodles, then coffee, three cups each. The boys both [strikethrough] have been [/strikethrough] were at home. Returning home I gathered twigs as usual, here I am cooking potatoes (also from Hanna) for supper.