p.2

(2)

My own affairs are just now terribly complicated. I have s pent [spent]
my good time and money trying to collect from delinquent subscribers, and
with the smallest results I have ever had since I have been running the
paper. I could make it better than ever, and I have had a great many plans
for this in the past year, but everything is hampered so far for want of
funds. I have held that it would be all right and I am sure that I shall
see my way and know what all this means. I shall soon have here a mother
and daughter from Nebraska who are coming west to grow up with the coun-
try. The daughter has been fifteen years bank cashier, and will want
something to do here. I am going to hold on to her if possible, if I find
that she will take hold of detail work, and so leave me free for writing
and lecturing. I am a very different person as far as spirit freedom is
concerned from the woman you knew, and whom you were good enough to love
so truly. First, in point of [line?] I stocked a woman up with furniture for a four room cottage
even giving her everything for table use, and buying new stoves for her so
that everything she had would be mine. This was with a view of renting her
cottage furnished when she would go to her homestead in Harney county a fe w [few]
months later. She never went. We fixed a very moderate price on the things
but she has never paid me a cent. But the freedom part was in getting
rid of a lot of old stuff that I did not need.

Then I had always been under great bondage to my love for my hus-
band, but when the divorce was granted in March I906 [1906], and he married in the
following June, I was freed from that. All the long agony was over, and
I found that there were whole worlds in my being that he had never touched
at all, beutiful [beautiful], and rapturous as had been my young love for him. I some-
times wonder if in other people, covered with smiles and conventionalities
there are the dramas and the tragedies that there are in my own life. If
so, this must be a mighty interesting world to the Cretor [Creator] that knows all
hearts.

Then, as you know, I sent Zintka to Mr. Colby a year ago last
Jan. He let have her own way for a while but finally they put her in the
Haskell Institute at Lawrence, Kansas, where she seems to be h appy [happy], and
doing well. I feel easy about her for the first time for that is the best
Indian school there is in the West; and she will meet a very nice class of
young people. She writes me very little of her life there, but has her
spells of begging me to let her come to me this summer.

Now for my latest achieved freedom. It is from the cottage and
the pretty lots at Tremont that I loved so well. The place is empty, and
the garden on which I have put so much strength and time is undug. I came
in to the city and took this convenient office last November, and it has
enabled me to get acquainted; to do things and to help people mor [more] than I
would in a hundred years of life in the cottage. That was good for the sad
days, and the glad days when my dear niece and her babies would come to
see me, and I was always with them more or less. But now I feel I have so
much to give people that I cannot shut myself off, and simply minister to
the delights of hospitality. I have lots of bonds on my yet; Was ever
woman so tied up by all that is best in her naure as I have been and am.
We can speak of problems that are worked out, but for those that are upon
us, who can help us save the dear Father, the Ineffable name.

Mrs. Cox has been here since last October, coming just in time
for the Mills meetings. Her husband got a job again in San Francisco just
before the holidays, but she has not gone yet, although she expects to go
before the month is out. She has been going to a good many of the Morgan lec-
tures,

Now I must close. This is a good long before breakfast letter.
Write me soon, and if I ever come up that way I shall surely see you. I hve [have]
been planning if I sell my cottage to go the International Suffrage Alliance
in Holland in June, and stop two or three months helping the suffragists
in England, and coming back in time for the Jubilee National convention in
Buffalo, in October. But I am living day by day and praying now for money
to get out of the next paper as I ahve [have] to pa y [pay] in advance.

Good-by swetheart [sweetheart], I am lovingly yours,