Gold Rush Era Letters

her since I have been in California. The first last & only one should I remain here twenty years --

I will now tell you why I think myself innocent of the charges you preferred against me in your letter of Aug 31st. When I wrote you the 7th of July that I intended to conduct myself differently & to have nothing more to do with Lize T-r [abbreviated last name] I was sincere in what I wrote & I was in hopes you would have had no reason to doubt me. & the only way I deceived you at that time was by not telling you that I had received a letter from her among others which I received on arrival here & found at Mr. Waltons but if I remember right I did not say that I did not receive one from her which I did do & received another last Friday the 8th inst. but I have not received one single line from W. Ames.

I wish to have you understand that I had written her before I wrote you & that before I wrote you what I did I had firmly resolved to try and atone for past misconduct which resolution thus far remains unbroken. When I first read your letter of the 31st Aug however, I felt miserable enough & for some time could not see why you should accuse me so hard while I thought myself innocent, but I now think you did not fully understand me but I hope & trust that the above explanation will prove satisfactory & that you will no longer have reason to doubt me & you may rest assured that I shall endeavor to do as you wish to have me do so far as I can & any advice you may give me from time to time I will try and profit by to the best of