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On the 7th of January 1807, my dear father aged 69. departed this life.
Is this possible--Tho' my reason cannot refuse its assent to the fact, my heart does not realize it, & I feel not as if any change had taken place, or that I am seperated forever from this excellent & beloved Parent. That I shall see him no more. It is in vain I repeat this, my heart is still incredulous, nor is it affected with that sorrow, such a seperation is calculated to produce. While I read the letters which contain the information my tears flow & I feel affected, but an hour afterwards the impression is totaly effaced. Not till I visit Brunswick, shall I feel his loss.
Night-------
Heavenly Father; thou who didst create me such as I am, who didst mould this heart & form this mind, to thee must be known all its workings, all its decisions, its motives & its deductions--it is on this my confidence rests, that my hopes are built--The most secret thought is open to thee. If I am in error, pity oh merciful father, a creature who desires to do right--if I am blind, do thou enlighten my mind; if my heart is corrupted & deluded, cleanse & rectify it, however severe the means. Oh My dear departed parent, why cannot I believe in what thou didst believe. What a source of consolation, what a support was religion to thee, in thy last & trying hour. Could I meet death, joyfully