Diary

what would be my tendency if I did not consider money at all. You can still have money but you don't need it for working in large firms. You can own other companies, etc. "What would be my tendency if money had no role?"

First of all my interest lies in marketing and technology, in software. Remember that I once thought the best job would be VP of Engr. Boy, I think I have it and for a product, COBOL, I really respect and like.

Second, I think my life would have meaning and worth to me if it only encompasses management of technology and marketing. But I'm sure finance and money will be brought into it. But not for my own personal use I suppose. I have always concentrated on being productive. Not on money. I can GROW iwthout concern for great personal wealth. I just need money for my personal life then.

As one aside, I considered that perhaps I should stay in the software side of personal investment. Have a firm that does investing for me. Perhaps I should be interested in being part of such a firm. So I decided toward the end of 2nd 1/4 to study up on these things. I would do a lot of reading in regard to AI, DBMS, Mangement, Time/Busi Week starting in the the 3rd 1/4. I did all this and learned the "last parts" of computer science (reading book on language + studying Knuth again) and a lot about management and AI. But it is clear to me that I know so little about money markets. So after getting a lot of reading done, I tossed out this idea of opening finance house. Instead I would defer to others who can do this function much better than I, and I should study where I should keep my money. That is, study the brokerage houses already in existence rather than the stocks. Discard my working on the science of investment. It is an

art of which I know so little, thought I will continue to study it and probably even play with it. It is something I find interesting but I can't think of myself becoming an expert on it. I know so much about computer systems work. I just can't throw that away. And I like systems work as a profession.

The whole topic above was one of relief. I studied for six weeks before vacation and six weeks after vacation. That last six weeks also included thoughts about whether to move w/ MSoft or go onto something else. Those thoughts are coming in the next section. Also I gleaned a feeling for the history of computers during the 3rd 1/4 by my comp sci reading. This felt good to have. [Note] The first two weeks of this "new year" I have been writing this. [/note]

So this year saw a lot of reading and thought. I have progressed remarkably and matured a lot in my feelings. Hopefully writing them here

will make them more concrete to me. I used to say in closing that I should live by the edge. But I have discovered risk taking and realized that I must take risks to bolster my confidence in doing things. And thus I shall learn how intense I should be.

I have learned to control my lust for personal money and power. I love concensus and can be happy so long as I have plenty of money to live on personally. I have discovered significance and will try to forget all the insignificant things that happen to me. I have discovered memory and that I want a lot of accurate knowlege, to use in work.

There are other ways I've matured. And this is growth, just what I'm looking for. Now with this I can move on to the next step. You have to go through all steps of growth to get to the desired end. (Remember Annie Hall. She didn't.) Balance, not lazy + not intense. Don't waste but don't squeeze out last drop either. Try to feel a part of things. Be + realize it.

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Basic thoughts on MSoft move to Seattle

When to move my things (John Potter) Revise Empl nondisclosure agreement (knowingly) No APL. Only COBOL. I have 1 1/2 years of COBOL exp. Just paid 48K. But try for wage + price control. Research available COBOL software. Bill + Paul only owners of MSoft. Its only top mgt. Miriam has done good job. I like her to answer questions on COBOL. Run like dentist office. NCC. New York. Will be depressed. Never modify comscn (management) Reading magazines for work Get recommendations for GSB + other job if needed No report hours. Always 48K. November to look for apt. Pay or 1 week off vs moving Good loan (too high overall anyway) 20% raise absolute Few appts before 10:30? 1 more wk vacation Dialup lines from home East or South side office.