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& gorgeous darling. You said in your letter you thought it was not bad, considering. It is lovely darling & as I have said before, you are so soft & smooth & silky too - you will always be lovely & perfect & desirable. But it is not only shape & feel intense - you are so much more my darling. I cannot write it - I have not words. I must wait now. I can see you & explain. But always, I will love you with all my mind & heart & body & always I will want, passionataely, to make you happy & content & interested - always I will want & need your love & always I will desire you & feel my body loving yours. And, as now, & always when my body feels for yours , my hearts & my mind are in it too - what wonderful passion we have darling mine. I could never forget you, even if I stayed here for ever. And how I long for you. Darling, darling Barbara.
To bed now - sweetest heart XXXXXX H.
Friday Nov. 21st I have been studying a little, the bank sheet which you sent along with your letter. It is a little difficult to follow as you have more or less sent
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me every other one. And it is not easy to follow the income, tax position because I do not really know what we have to pay for when & how much has already been deducted. But ignoring these things, our position is really very good. Quite apart from our £300 in Defence Bonds & B.C. & on stock - we are £220 better off now than we were 11 months ago. Then we had an overdraft of £115 & now (30 Aug) we have £65 in credit & another £40 paid into insurance. And you have paid £50 for having Maxie & a lot of other bills too. I think it is very good. There is one item I do not understand - at the end of the last sheet - dated 30 Aug, there is my Pay £11-12-6 which is your allowance - & then "Do, Lloyds, Bonnemouth" £25-15-10 which sum does not suggest anything to me at all. I do hope that you examine the slips when they arrive because they can make mistakes & I always wonder too, if I was credited with all the differences between Lieut's & Capt's & Major's pay. I have just totalled up the amount we have had from the B.C.& W. since I left in Nov. 39 & it is £1,000 in salary, bonus & commission. It is quite a sum, isn't it? I suppose we must feel thankful for it - even though I do feel that I have earned it & would be making even more if I were still there. And thank goodness they decided to pay half salary, rather than make up acting pay to the original salary. It would have been galling, after being underpaid for so many years, to get up to Major's pay in the Army
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& have no financial benefit from it at all.
I had a letter from Carrie, of all people, the other day - quite a chatty & cheery one. She said she could not help thinking about me every day, because hardly a day passed without somebody asking about me on the telephone - & what amused her was that nobody was surprised that I had done well in the Army. She & Albert had had a week at Blackpool - her second week, she had spent going round with Albert on his waggon! They had been twice to Tomsons, & Mr. Joe (Ashworth) always asked about me & the work people seemed to think as much about me as they did about Mr. Joe!
I hope darling that it does not annoy you that I repeat to you these complimentary remarks from my employees & customers. But I must say, that all that kind of thing & the very important fact that somebody as wonderful & incomparable as you, loves me so marvellously & beautifully & deeply & constantly - & the fact that I do this job quite well & find it easy - all these things give me great added confidence in myself & make me feel that perhaps I have a future apart from or in addition to managing W in North & Co Ltd.
I could have a very happy & satisfactory life being your husband & responsible for your happiness & well being & having Max & perhaps one of two more - & managing
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Wm North & probably being a director. But I do feel more & more deeply, every day, that people like you & I must take a hand in the running of the country & not just lapse into our ways of criticising the Government & doing no more about it, & having ideas about how things should be done but never taking any action to have them done that way. The one difficulty & danger in my case - & this must be the same with many other people & will also be one explanation as to why we are governed by such a largely foolish & mediocre class of men, is that any meddling in politics, which entailed time away from work, would be frowned upon by the Executive - & especially so if my ideas are somewhat further to the left than their own. But all this will have to be waited for & seen about. I certainly have no intention of rushing into politics the moment I arrive home & maybe things will go along far better than we really expect & again, perhaps there will not be too much time to spare, the need for the likes of us will be urgent.
X Touching on Socialism for a moment, the Jewish Agency have for some time had a Colour Executive, & their method of payment is quite an interesting one, & I believe is similar to what holds good in Russia. Everybody receives the same basic wage or salary - plus so much extra for service,
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plus so much extra for a wife & children. And they get expenses for money spent on work, but these are limited in each case & controlled; if a man has £20 a month expenses allowed, & he spends £15, all of which is acocunted for, he just get £15; if he spend £25, it is just too bad for him. And then, the interesting part is, that certain people as & where necessary, get a thing called "representation" - which means that if you occupy a certain position, which means that you have to have a bigger & better furnished house, & employ a servant or two, & burn more coal & electricity, you get an allowance accordingly. It seems to me, that under such a system, there is the greatest possibility of the most able men emerging at the top & the most honest & sincere men, too. And as the Jewish Agency is the head of world Jewry, it rather belies the belief that they are always after money. I was asking Ben the other day why it is that Jews have the expectation & a deserved one, for being always in & around & after the money. And he said that through the ages & especially in Europe where they were continually persecuted & hounded - the Jews wer often not allowed to have a trade & therefore the only means of livelihood to which they could turn was in dealings in money. X
I have now received the two photographs which the photographers took when taking the Coy. I will send them on by Airmail tomorrow. I think
