Diary

So I'm moving on to more interesting items. I will be studying Chart and File, PFS, LIST, MUSH, and designing HF. I was enticed to work on HF by myself but it would become a better product by my working on it with others at Microsoft. Not having direct financial rewards has advantages: diversification via stock option less psychological pressure from deadlines And if typically royalty is 7% then retail sales have to be $1M for me to get $70K.

But I want more now. I want a raise. I feel $100K is not unreasonable now. I have worked for 2 years at $68K. I also want stock options.

It is not a matter of needing or even wanting more $$. It has to do with respect!

I don't intend to use the money except for long term purchases. It isn't consumption oriented. Lakeside + Scheller will get more too.

I've realized that my real goal shall be time for imagination. Working with piano + video too.

But I was $100k + [illegible]K shares: 1) I will have lots of enthusiasm for productivity tools like HF + Multitools. [noted in red ink] ALWAYS HAVE HAD [/note] 2) I will feel like leaving Seattle this winter in November during review [noted in red ink] FOR WHERE? [/note] 3) I stick with projects like SORT, and I am meticulous in design and implementation [noted in red ink] THIS IS NOTHING NEW. [/note] 4) Now is the time to ask. This is the least disruptive departure point. Later I will feel the need to finish what I've started. 5) I need self-respect. I don't feel successfully growing anymore [noted in red ink] CAN'T GROW FOREVER. [/note] 5a) I should've been lots more angry in '76. Coulv'e gotten MORE! [noted in red ink] I'M NOT A BUSINESSMAN. [/note] 6) Bill hasn't been generous, beyond the call of duty to me as I have been to him. [noted in red ink] I HAD EASY SUMMERS [/note] Not even given me the review I requested. 7) I need to feel that I'm growing as significantly as the industry I'm working. [noted in red ink] BUT I'M NOT. [/note] 8) FUN DESIGN WILL BE OVER. CODING IS IMMINENT. 9) I WANT HOUSE, DOGS, HOUSEBOY/COOK, ETC. 10) I KNOW MICROSOFT'S PRODUCTS!

Last night I had a very good serious talk with Jerry Baldasty. 1) I need to get to know other humans, for work's sake. What is important to them. (as I said Mem Day '81). 2) I need to do things that are important to me: MUSIC, VIDEO. 3) Does money make a difference. [red ink] NO: the ability to think + to shape makes a difference. (I can't think in LA or NYC. People can do things but not create major trends there.) RICH is not $$. It is what you do with mind + body. [/red ink]

I AM EXCITED TO MOVE AWAY FROM SORT, and leave BASIC + COBOL BEHIND. SORT CAPPED OFF BASIC + COBOL.

4) Before I can love another, I must come to the point that I love myself, my work, my art, who I work for, etc. That can happen now.

[red ink with arrow to Jerry Baldasty on previous page] THE UPSHOT is that there is a major CLOSURE happening to both of us. [/red ink]

6502 BASIC is all behind All Cobol's are all behind

I did, of course, enjoy working on these, so it's more a sense of passed achievement that I should celebrate. But it still feels like FREEDOM.

Now I must start to concentrate on software DESIGN, and do a few jobs I've always wanted to do. At least do Home Finance, and throw in UST for good measure!

Study all the fun graphics + shell menus. See what Charles group has achieved. And see how I can use it [red ink] them [/red ink]. But Business Languages Systems Languages Operating Systems are all something I will utilize with GREAT APPRECIATION, but also with GREAT THANKS that I am FREE of all that stuff.

I HAVE DONE MY TIME... + SORT WAS A MODE OF TRANSITION!

Saturday October 1, 1983

Over the last few days I've read about dBASEII, PFS, and concluded, as usual, that those aren't as attractive as they first seem. I don't feel they'd be fun to work on. Also, I read all about spreadsheet evolution. 1-2-3 is really hot, because it ties graphics into the spreadsheet, and allows a spreadsheet to be used as a relational table and applies some elementary DB operations on it.

So, what's left is to look at 1-2-3, MUSH, SMALLTALK, and Bill Budge's Graphics tools, with an eye to graphics, and see what I can do with them in HF. Also I will read a book on PC Graphics, and see if there's anything NEW.

After work, Bob + I went to get my haircut, go to Tastevin, see "Marriage of Figaro" and Cutters, the Olympic, and finally the Ritz.

This morning I cut up WSJ while talking to Vic Incardona.