Herbert Mackarsie journal

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to do with themselves. They were near Percy, but unable to do one thing for him.

A few rods away from the house where they were they noticed a small church and the people going in to service. They had not realized till then that it was the Sabbath. "Let us go in, Henry," whispered Marian, "we may get some comfort." So they followed the people in, slipping into a seat near the door. The hymns of praise and the prayers fell like balm on the mother's heart, and Mr. Maybrick, too, felt their influence. The young minister rose and gave out his text, reading from the Revised Version, "I will lift up mine eyes unto the mountains, whence cometh my help from the Lord," etc. He spoke first of the feeling of strength, of peace, of security that the mountains give. Then he said they might be taken as a symbol of the great things of God. We are so prone to give all our thought to small things. Our own little petty, every-day tasks, our own possessions (or those we call our own), our own wants and the supplying of them. These things are apt to take all our attention and we spend our time thinking of them, when we might be lifting our eyes to the mountains. We might be thinking that God has other work for us to do than simply to seek for food and raiment. There are those in the world that we can help- we are not "our own" - we are "bought with a price." Therefore we should "glorify God in our bodies and our spirits, which are His." Earnestly the preacher pressed home his point. and over the spirit of Henry Maybrick there

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came a change. He had a vision of God's love, and of his own selfish life, and at the close of the sermon he bowed his head, and prayed that his sins might be forgiven, and that he might be permitted to enter the service of the Lord whose love and mercy he had hitherto slighted. To him was fulfilled the promise, "Him that cometh unto Me I will in no wise cast out," and he went from that church a changed man.

Going back to the house they had left, the nurse who had been waiting on their boy came to them and said, "There is so little change I can hardly call it a change, and yet I believe there is a little for the better. If you will both go and rest now I promise to call you when Dr. W. comes, which will be about midnight." They went, tired out with their journey; but too anxious to sleep, and were up and ready to hear the doctor's verdict when he came from the room. He said, "There is certainly a change for the better. I believe he will pull through." Another day of anxious waiting followed. Another midnight train brought Dr. W. from the city, and his opinion of the previous night was confirmed. Next day the parents were allowed to go to their son's bedside and speak a few words to him. Steadily he gained strength, until they were able to take him home with them, and in three weeks' time it was a happy family party that gathered one evening round the old farm-house table, with the invalid propped in his chair, pale and thin still, but able to reply to the merry jokes of Frank on his lanky appearance, his

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had come to an anchor. After getting my operation over lay down again, and could hear tht there was a great confusion on deck, getting luggage ready, Officers came from the different ships coming on board &c. In the afternoon got under weigh and steamed for the Inner Roads, where we anchored in Ct. Virago. I was just on the point of turning in when Coast of Africa friends of mine with Lieut Fard came on from Virago: they left early and I turned in directly afterwards.

July 7th Passed a very restless long night but not being able to sleep an hour: after hearing the gun fire I dosed for an hour or so, dressed got up and saw the sick very little of any fever on shore, and the ships quite healthy - About 10 It came in to blow on shore very fresh - The Indefatigable's pinnace came along side. At noon went up to smoke, but could not manage it : at 10 Captn Hope no chance of seeing him again - I had gone to bed when Sentry came rapped at my door saying that two gentlemen from the Coast wished to see me, and on my hearing one was a very particular friend you may suppose hose. A very

"Ye are Not Your Own."

By a member of the W.F.M.S.

"Well, wife,' said Farmer Maybrick, as they sat down with their family to the evening meal in the large, clean, cool farm-house kitchen one warm summer evening towards the end of July, "what wonderful work for the heathen did you do this afternoon? I saw you and Hester driving Old Doll post-haste up the road as we were working in the north field." A slight flush came to the sweet, patient face of his wife as he spoke, for this sort of half-teasing, half-sneering remark was sure to be forthcoming after every missionary meeting. But she answered quietly, "Oh, we were packing our bale of clothing for the Northwest to-day and arranging for our Thank-offering Meeting in September." "Then," said the son Frank, who shared his father's opinion of missions, and also his love for teasing, with a mischievous look across the table at his sister, "I suppose, father, the Indian braves will shortly be marching over the plains, dressed in our shirts and trousers, while we go in rags at home. "Look!" he said, holding up one arm to show a long rent in his sleeve, which he had torn on a nail that afternoon, and which he well knew

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would be neatly mended before he was allowed to wear the garment again. "And what did you send the dear squaws and the sweet little papooses, Hester; your blue shirt-waist and coral necklace, or the pink waist and pearl necklace?" "Neither," returned his sister, "And as for your clothes, I don't suppose any Indian would wear them; not if he knew you, at any rate." "Oh, yes, he would, sister, the lordly Indian will wear all the clothes he can if you give them to him for nothing, and will permit his squaw to carry the remainder in a bundle if she walks a few feet behind him." "Well, if he does he is not much worse than some white men I know." "Now, now, that will do," said the father, seeing that the young people were growing hot, and turning to his wife, "But what about the Thank-offering Meeting, Marian, what does that mean?" "Why," was the reply, "before the next meeting an envelope is to be given to each woman in the congregation, which she is expected to bring or send to the meeting, with her offering enclosed and accompanied by a text of thanksgiving, or she may, if she wishes, state her special reason for thankfulness." "Well, I guess your thank-offering needn't be very big." "Oh, Henry; how can you say so! Think of the good health God has given us all. We have not had a doctor inside the house for a year. Think of our beautiful home, of the harvest you have. Think of our son Percy's life being spared when he was in such danger. Oh, we could not begin to count our blessings if we tried." "Oh, yes; I know we've all been well; but

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why shouldn't we be? Are people expected to be sick? As for our home, we've worked hard to make it what it is, and I can't see any great reason for thanksgiving in Percy's case. Goodness knows he has been unfortunate enough since he went down South to be a doctor, instead of staying at home on the farm as I wanted him to. I don't say but what the boy has been plucky. He wouldn't be his father's son if he weren't, or his mother's either, for that matter. But he had had two bad runaways and smash-ups, with dear knows how much damage to pay; he has too much Maybrick pride to let me know that, and the poor boy will always be lame after the last accident then, there was that fire in his office last month, had all his stuff burned, and barely escaped with his life. If you can see cause for thankfulness in all that, I can't. But how much do you want to give at this Thank-offering Meeting? I suppose the money is the main thing." "No, it is not, Henry. The money is worth nothing if it is not given with a willing heart; but I thought I would like to give five dollars." "Five dollars! Not if I know it. I am wiling to give anything reasonable; but five dollars to give to your Woman's Missionary Society is ridiculous, and I suppose Hester wants five dollars more for her gift!" "No; father," said Hester, whose face had flushed hotly during the discussion, and whose indignant protest had only been kept back by a pleading look from her mother, "I have my poultry money, and will give my offering out of that." Oh, will you?" said her father. "Well, if you have five dollars

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to give in a lump to missions, you may buy your own clothes out of your poultry money. I have other uses for my money than to throw it away like that." An angry answer to this unjust decision was again restrained by a look from the gentle mother, and the farmer, himself in no very amiable frame of mind, left the table to go to the barn and help Frank, who had gone some time before, do up the evening "chores."

Mother and daughter meanwhile set about their household duties, which were never neglected, as everything about the house showed. For Mrs. Maybrick, like every good woman to whom God has given a husband and family and home to care for, made these her first care, never to be slighted for any outside work, and well Farmer Maybrick knew that he had as good and thrifty a wife and daughter as could be found in the country-side; and well he knew, too, that no home duty was ever set aside by them for missionary or any other meeting. In the main he was a good husband and father, fond and proud of his gentle, lady-like wife, and his pretty, dark-eyed young daughter, as well as of his sons. He was a good neighbor, too, always willing to given a helping hand to those around him when it was needed; but like too many others, living his life "just as if Jesus had never lived, as if He had never died."

This cause of missions was very dear to Mrs. Maybrick's heart, and she and Hester had some earnest discussion on the subject of the Thank-offering Meeting, as they went about their daily duties; but with the men

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of the house the matter was not referred to again, unless in teasing remarks by Frank to his sister.

Life flowed on uneventfully for the Maybrick family through the busy summer days, until the middle of August. One evening husband and wife were sitting on the west porch talking and resting, and looking over their wheat fields, with full ripe grain standing in the shock, waiting to be drawn into the barn on the morrow. Anxiously the farmer looked towards the setting sun for indications of the weather for the following day, and certainly all seemed to promise as be wished. Not a cloud to be seen as Old Sol disappeared in his crimson glory int he West. "Marian, I think the weather will be fine and we can get that field of wheat in tomorrow. I told Frank to get a couple of men from the village to help, he has gone there now. "Yes," replied his wife, "Hester went with him. I was glad for her to get a drive this lovely evening after heat of the day. It will do them both good: but who is this riding so fast?" As she spoke the rider whom she had been watching coming down the road, turned in at their gate, and rode rapidly up the lane. Mr. Maybrick walked out to meet him, recognizing him as a messenger from the nearest railway station. Mrs. Maybrick saw the man take a telegram from his pocket and hand it to her husband. Hurrying forward with a prayer he could open it, which he did with strong hands trembing in spite of himself, and together they read, "Your son Percy is

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dying. Come at once." "Oh, my boy, God help us," sobbed the poor mother, and the father, with face almost as white as her own, and echoing her cry to God for help, put his arm round his wife to support her as they walked into the house. It was she who first roused herself to think what must be done, and to say, "Henry, how soon can we go?" "Not till morning, my poor Marian: there is a train leaving D. (a town twelve miles away) at five in the morning. Frank must drive us there, and if we make good connections I think we can get through and be with Percy the following morning. God only knows whether he will be living, or not, though," he groaned. "Oh, I don't believe God will let our boy die before we have kissed him good-by. Oh, my Percy, my firstborn, God spare him to me," she said, sinking into a chair and covering her face with her hands.

At that moment the sound of wheels was heard, and she started up. "The children, poor things, how will they bear it?" "I will go out and tell them," said her husband, with unusual thought for her; and going out he reached the buggy just as Hester, with a gay laugh at something they had been talking of, took her brother's hand to spring out. In a few words their father told them the sad news, and that he and their mother must go to Percy as quickly as steam could carry them. Hester, struggling to keep her own grief out of sight, flew into the house to her mother, and when the father and brother came in an hour later, after making all arrangements for the early morning's

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drive, mother and daughter seemed to have changed places, and it was Hester who decided what clothing must be taken by the travelers. Hester, who arranged and packed, meantime persuaded her father and mother to lie down and get what rest they might. Then when it came time to rise, this daughter, who seemed to have grown into a woman in one night, dressed the poor grief-striken mother almost as one would a child, and coaxed her to drink a cup of tea and eat a little, lest she should be ill on the journey. "You know, mother," she said, "you must keep up your strength so that you can help to nurse Percy when you get there." During the twelve-mile drive, and through the long day and night on the train, little was said by our travelers, the mother half-stunned by her grief, and ill from the unwonted journey; the father griefstricken, too, for his love for his eldest son was deep and real; but with the thought forcing itself in upon him that he had not done what he ought. He had never felt so helpless as when the terrible message came to him the night before, and with the thought of his helplessness had come the thought of God's power, but that did not bring him comfort; for how, thought he, can I ask God to spare my son, how can I ask any favor from a God that I never acknowledged, that I am not in touch with? Through the long, weary hours on the train this man passed through the bitterest experience of his life. At length they reached the journey's end. A carriage was waiting to convey them to the house where their son

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lay. A servant met them at the door, and in answer to their inquiries said she would bring to them Doctor Allan, who had been with the patient all night. He came, a great friend of their son as they knew from his name, and going straight up to them and taking a hand of each in turn, said, "You are Percy's father and mother. I wish from the bottom of my heart that I could give you good news of him, but I cannot. I do not say that there is no hope; but I can see little. The fever has left him, but he has lain in a sort of stupor nearly all the time for two days. We give him a little nourishment at intervals, but he scarcely rouses even then. Oh, yes; we have had the best advice possible- Dr. W., from the city, a specialist in this disease. We are acting under his orders. The next twenty-four hours will decide it one way or another. You see, he has been working too hard. I warned him often but he always laughed and said, 'Oh. I am all right, Allan; you know I must work hard to catch up again,' meaning, of course, to make up his losses at the time of the fire."

Again there came a pang to the father's heart as he thought of the help he might have given and spared his boy that severe strain. "I think you may look in at him if you are sure you will not make any sound. He will not notice you." Silently they both followed the doctor into the room, gave one look at the dear, white, changed face lying on the pillow, and went out again. After trying to partake of the refreshment provided for them they wandered out, scarcely knowing what

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April 13th. Ross of course very shaky, requesting I should not say anything about what happened on the previous evening. Arrived a Sardinian Steamer from Rio. 9.30 sent galley for Commdr, who came off shortly afterwards, stopping Ross' leave for a month and giving him a severe reprimand. One of our Marines got leave to go on shore to get married. In the evening there was whist in the gun room and after Ross had got well primed again, there was a most horrid noise made by singing and hammering on the table, with any quantities of Pewters of beer, so that sleeping was quite out of the question till long after midnight.

April 14th Beautiful weather. Harrier shifted her position. Sent boat for Commdr, who of course did not come off. Employed getting Provisions from the shore. Old Ross very drunk again and by 9 PM was incapable of getting to bed, and after a good deal of trouble, he was put into his cabin boots and all on.

April 15th In the morning felt unwell and had to ask Dr Martin to see my few sick. Sent Cutter for liberty men, many of whom came off very drunk, and there was some little milling but of course they could not hurt each other seriously. It was past eleven before I was able to get up, and even then I could hardly hold my head up. We were at dinner at 2 PM when a young man fell over board, and never came up again, two men jumped overboard after him, but he was never seen: we crept for the body for some time, but could not get it.

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By nine PM old R. was in his usual state annoying every one with his noise, however he had not forgot, the evening of last Sunday and did not come into my cabin.

April 16th A beautiful morning, most of the Officers on shore. Dr Martin attended to my Sick, as I was unable to get up. Sent boat for Commdr who as usual did not come off. A few liberty men came off, most of them drunk. No appearance of old Higgs. Turned in early.

April 17th Sent a boat at 8 for the Commdr, being General Quarter day. Every thing in the gun room very dirty and uncomfortable, with nothing to eat. At 10 the Commdr came off with a party of friends to breakfast, but we had no Quarters, as several men were ashore the galley's crew waiting on the Admiral and four in my Sick List. Lost a first rate opportunity of gaining £40 for some vaccine Lymph of which I had plenty, but as small pox was very prevalent on shore, I made a present of some to a Medico, who came off. Heard of the Indians having come down as far as Rosario; and having rizen against Orkezas, with every probability of their soon coming down to Buenos Ayres. Made a signal to Harrier to go to General Quarters, exercise small arm men, and man and arm boats. Higgs came off, but in a very shaky state. In the afternoon Mr Deal came on board, bringing for old Ross, a very handsome revolver won in a raffle, for which he at once called for any quantity of beer, evidently with the intention of again getting drunk, to the annoyance of every one. It was

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a great pleasure to have completed coaling, and perhaps a better one in prospect, to commence painting. Christian rather in a bad temper, supposing I had not my instruments out, in which he was however disappointed, for in coming to my cabin and seeing all ready on the table, he asked for my sick list, which was also in readiness, and on coming into the gun room afterwards, he was uncommonly pleasant asking me to go ashore with him, which of course I declined. In the evening, Ross again was drunk & came in to my cabin in his moony state wanting me to go ashore: with some difficulty I refrained from knocking him down: after getting as much rum, beer & gin as he possibly could procure, he eventually managed to get into his den, and fell asleep just as he was

April 18th The weather as fine as usual. Employed cleaning ship throughout - Sent a boat for Commdr and a description for three men who had broke their leave for more than a week. Several of the Officers went ashore in the afternoon boat, so that every thing was quiet in the Gun Room: at gun fired turned in again feeling unwell and passed a dreadful night.

Sunday April 19th 1857. At Buenos Ayres. Could not leave my bed, Dr M kindly did the amiable for me. Commdr came on board and went to Divisions. In the afternoon, the body of a drowned man came up, and a boat was sent away and the corpse brought on board and put on a grating under the Union Jack, and the Carpenters set to work immediately

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Mother

Mother and Anty, and after a glass of hot toddy went to bed, the warmest and best place.

Sunday April 26th 1857 At Buenos Ayres. At 9.30 the Commdr came on board with a very hot cold and mustered by Open List, going ashore soon afterwards to the Rakes which are to conclude today. In the evening both Ross and Higgs got drunk and began to sing till they were stopped by the Commanding Officer. After gun fire went to bed.

April 27th Woke about 3 when it was very cold but I had not pluck enough to get up & look at the Thermometer: the Sentries light in the steerage had gone out, the Officer of the watch must have been asleep for everything was as quiet as the grave, so I very soon hopped in to bed again. Sent the boats on shore at the usual times for orders: two on the list. In the afternoon all the Officers, leaving only Higgs, two Engineers and myself: after gun fire we had some hot whiskey & water and I was soon under the blankets.

April 28th Every thing very quiet all day. At a little after sunset the Commander came off in the 2nd gig with some drunken men and after seeing the worst one put in irons went ashore again.

April 29th Still very cold and uncomfortable: after quarters exercised at gun drill; sent boat for Commdr who did not come off but a sent a messg to Ross ordering him to explain in writing his reason for breaking his leave. An old druken merchant Captain a friend of old drunken Ross, came on board to dinner and after Quarters several of the Officers went on board with him